It went wrong from the very start.
There was a nice young woman behind the counter. Here is the exchange; you tell me where it went off the tracks:
Village Inn Girl: "Can I help you?"
Chris: "She would like a slice of Cherry pie and I would like a slice of Chocolate Peanut Butter."
Village Inn Girl: "That will be $6.50."**
**take note that my slice of pie cost $3.80
I swiped my debit card and the machine instantly asked me if I wanted to tip 15% or 20%. We have now been in the building 3 minutes. I saw Village Inn Girl move out of my line of vision as she headed to the back to get our pie, so I turned my head slightly to Angie behind me and out of the corner of my mouth uttered:
Chris: "Tip? 15% tip? 20% tip? How about zero?"
It is at this moment I realizeed much to my horror that my superhero-like spidey-senses have detected Village Inn Girl right behind me. She whispered in my ear:
Village Inn Girl: "If you want zero just hit zero. That's fine."
I was mortified; Angie was mortified but it was too late. Village Inn Girl gave us our pie and I slinked out.
When we got to the car I opened the pie container to make sure she hadn't spit in my food. What I found was almost as bad: I had received the smallest piece of pie I have ever seen at a restaurant. And I had paid $3.80! Here is a dramatic recreation using Village Inn's website (click to enlarge):
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In the interest of social studies, I went to my friend Kimball's house and "talked him" (ie, had to pay him in pie) into going to Village Inn to order pie as well. This time he was ready to tip big. He ordered, he got a bigger slice.
Angie and I want to make the world a better place. Friends and followers of this blog know that we both want to teach others our valuable life lessons.
Here is what Chris learned: Drive the extra 15 minutes to the Cheesecake Factory if you can. It is so loud there that they won't hear you announcing you won't be tipping.
Here is what Angie learned: stop going out in public with her husband.